Deja vu

It's been weeks since I last decided to share anything of what this pregnancy has been like for us, and in that time, I also neglected to share anything related to Chloë. I just didn't think I could write without revealing all, so I chose not to write at all. We've had a rollercoaster of a month, and are slowly, slowly (but surely) getting adjusted to a new routine, our new reality. We are now a little over 5 months along and going on day 11 of bed rest.

Yup-bed rest again. The first time, while brutal, it was totally doable. I didn't disrupt too much, just stayed in bed, or on the couch working away until Josh came home from work. This time we have Chloë. We've had to change our schedules, figure out different routines, get her used to different things, and most of all, get me used to not being with her, doing things with her, for her, all the time. It's been insanely hard for me, and her. She's much better at getting used to it, she's tough. I'm still struggling, though hanging in there. I'm still able to work, so the distraction has been a blessing. Wonderful friends have helped in so many ways, and Josh has been a rock.

Without Josh and his ability to make it all ok, I'm not sure how I'd be doing right now. He has reminded me a few times this week that I can do it, and of course it's going to be hard, because as of now, as of 5 months ago, we don't just have one kid, we have two kids. And that's what makes it worth it, I know that I'm doing this for this little boy that's kicking my bladder every day, countless times a day, making me race for the bathroom. And I know from experience that as soon as I hold him in my arms, as soon as I see his face, I'll forget all about the hard part. So for now, I'll just lay here. For him. As I did for her.


they make it all worthwhile.

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