time and changes

A Letter to Chloë, on your 2nd birthday

From the moment my belly started bulging out a few months ago, until about 5 weeks ago, I cherished our bedtime routine, knowing they might come to an abrupt end through no fault of our own. I would hold you in my arms, and you always stuffed your face into my neck, trying to fit it just right, and you'd put your arms around me, and sigh so peacefully. They were short minutes, when I would hold you tight before placing you in your crib. I would say "'night, 'night" and you'd grab your bear and watch me leave the room. There were some nights I almost cried, because I knew that those days were almost over, that not only was my belly getting bigger, and bed rest was looming in our future, but you are also getting bigger, more independent, knowing your own mind, and some nights would quickly want to move from my shoulders to your crib.

Now you are two--two full years, and Daddy has been putting you to bed every night, for about 5 weeks now. Those first few days when you'd complain as you went upstairs and I stayed behind on the couch, I would cry as I heard you and Daddy upstairs, laughing, getting your PJs on, and doing our routine. I would cry because I miss you, because I know by the time I'm able to once again hold you in my arms before bed, you might not want it anymore because you are two. Two full years. Full of life, wants and demands.

I don't cry anymore, because I know you are strong and you understand. You kiss and pat my belly, but I still think you have no idea exactly how our world will rock when this other little treasure comes out into the world. It will be amazing, and with all that you have become in the last two years, you will also be amazing.

So for now, I celebrate your birthday, the little person you're becoming, and as I lay on the couch, on the bed, on the floor, I enjoy every minute of you. You, with your curls, and your knowing smile, your mischievous eyes, and all your charm. From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I just knew it, you were about to rock my world, and you've never disappointed.

I love LOVE love you! Amo MUITO!

-Mommy


there are no words

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